#Hernandezing – and other NFL memes

Well just when you thought the internet couldn’t get any weirder. Memes are a bit of a guilty pleasure, I can’t really be bothered with them but at the same time if I find a few on facebook and do a bit of clickey then no-one needs to know (except now, dammit!). Anyway, I found Buzzfeed a few months ago and haven’t really been concentrating until today. I found this :

hernandezing

So, here you will see my complete lack of knowledge of internet memes. Basically, some years ago when I had a lot more time on my hands at university – these things didn’t really exist, it was the early days of Bejewelled, Wikipedia, facebook hadn’t even really crossed the Atlantic.

Is it an American thing? Without getting into the background of why we do it, why we share it, why it’s funny, sad, cute, stupid or whatever – here are my Top Five NFL memes :

5. Tebowing – I’ve written about this before. So he has a little prayer before a play, on pitch, in the dressing room, wherever you can do it. He’s still doing it at the New York Jets too, and I’ll bet he’ll carry on now he’s signed for the Patriots. It created a wave of copy-cat photos all over the internet. I did a very quick search on google for tebowing, and to be honest everyone’s at it, babies, kids, students, office workers, naked ladies…

4. Kaepernicking – A bit more of a manly meme, so something brilliant, kiss your tat. Another quick search thankfully pulls up slightly better photos. Clearly less piss-taking on this meme, lots of kids giving it a go and it looks like you can buy tattoo sleeves to give you your own Kaepernick muscle – maybe that’s a bit far. Remember we went to the 49ers game at New Year, I just asked my Danielote if we saw Kaepernick, ie., whether we saw Kaepernicking, the reply : “I don’t know, we didn’t know what it was then!” This is how much of the football gossip reaches this side of the pond.

3. Lambeau Leap – So the Green Bay Packers do this little leap into the crowd to celebrate a touchdown. Lovely, getting the crowd involved, community spirit, appreciating their support – until you realise where this woman’s hand is!

 

[Image: JSCBi.jpg]2. Officials – Even these guys are in on the act. Piss-take central in every sport in every country. There’s a theme there. You never feel sorry for the Ref, and to be honest why would you in these outfits, the Summer Saturday boy at the local Footlocker that never left. Or of course, (Scottish accent) “Gladiatorrrr, Ready!”

1. Beyonce – We know that Beyonce was the half-time entertainment at the Super Bowl this year, but she actually danced like a drunk girl I once saw in Leicester that had a neon straw attached to her ear pretending to the Kylie. Result : the artist requests / orders that six photos be removed from the internet for being down-right unflattering – not before the cheeky internetters have got their hands on them!

beyo

Gotcha! Aaron Hernandez Arrested

Ok, so all I’ve read on this today is ESPN, but look at this ::

Aaron Hernandez

They got him! Thought it’s still not clear what for, murder? Watching a murder? Hiding evidence from the Police? He apparently did destroy some evidence, CCTV from his home and other bits and bobs.

And they got rid of him! It was announced on Twitter that the Patriots let Hernandez go. Good job really…

pathernan

I did read a disturbing statistic though : “Hernandez is one of 28 NFL players arrested since this year’s Super Bowl on Feb. 3, according to a database kept by U-T San Diego.” What on earth is that about? It’s not as though there are lower divisions where nobody knows or cares if the defender of Kidderminster Harriers is arrested for punching someone in a club. How can 28 players get arrested in just 5 months?!

Cheesecake Factory

Cheesecake Factory Birmingham, AL

So, completely off topic, I was talking to my friend the other day, the question was : What would you do if they built a Cheesecake Factory in Birmingham?

The answer is probably not repeatable here, it basically involved giggling, shouting and having to go there every day. Where would you build one in Birmingham? Going by US standards you’d build it at Star City, Merry Hill or some other out-of-town entertainment centre. But I think it really would make a killing in on the canals, or on the top floor at Selfridges. It’s too yummy to think about!

You see these things on TV, but never think you really will come face-to-face with a slice of cake that’s bigger than your head! The drink we could have shared and the cheesecake itself we were still eating the next morning…

Here’s my reaction to it all in Macy’s rooftop Cheesecake Factory restaurant in San Francisco. Displaying the classic “oh-my-god-what-have-i-done” face.

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Aaron Hernandez, Welcome to Ecuador

I told you I’d come back for more! So over the last few days an exciting story has come to light in the  American Conference. New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez is arrested in connection to the murder of Odin Lloyd in North Attleborough, Massachusetts. Remember that Massachusetts is home to Little Women, think Kirsten Dunst, Claire Danes, Winona Ryder, no bad things should happen here!

So details are still a little shady, but his home was searched last Tuesday, and Police spent a lo-ong time talking to him at the house. Now he’s only 23, so at the moment let’s assume his innocence – neighbours were also quite concerned according to this abc article, as a lot of players live in the town.

So apparently Hernandez was involved in a Florida shooting a few years ago, let’s keep assuming innocence (though I’m not sure why now because he’s not even hot, look at that fringe cut and tattoos, yuck!). I think in the US those tattoos would come under the label “douche”, here it’s plain old “cock”. He also, according to Sports Illustrated, publically took drugs, and gang activity are making his pretty much a persona non grata at the Patriots Stadium and in the NFL in general.

Let’s get back to the events – in the end the authorities are still searching his home, and they want to arrest him but nobody’s seen him. Maybe he’s in Ecuador, that’s where everyone on the run seems to go these days… 

Compromise: I Follow Sports Because He Follows Pinterest

So I like this post, it says a lot about why I’m blogging too. I can’t say I want to watch Britain’s Got Talent, but I certainly don’t want wall-to-wall football (we are even watching the Confederations Cup at the moment – which I hadn’t even heard of until this year).

Our compromise is that Daniel goes out and watches the football with his friends at the Walkabout, and I can stay in and catch up on Guides work, or pretend I remember what’s happening in Eastenders, or that I watch Made in Chelsea on a regular basis.

I think the lucky thing is that I used to go and watch the Villa with my Dad and sister when I was younger, so I’m quite happy to get my coat on and catch the train up to Villa Park. I think the Olympics helped too, the whole country got a sporting injection and there are so many more cyclists and rowers now than there was two years ago, and we all got interested in the lesser known sports like Shooting and Canoeing…

Anyway, I’m mainly happy to watch the football, and American football, and the Grand Prix :

Katherine – What other sports do you watch on telly?

Daniel – That’s the only thing they show here!

Katherine – What? What else would you watch?

Daniel – The Basketball! I’m going to sweep the floor

This conversation actually shows our compromise perfectly. We share the telly and we share the cooking and we share the housework.
But I’m doing this blog to try and learn more about American Football, who’s who, how to play, what the hell is going on…

sportsforbootyshorts

compromiseblog

Before I continue this article, I was told to make clear that pinterest also has good things for men too. Ross- “It’s not about the site, it’s about the actual content”

I know that we all have the idea of finding that one person out there that loves all the things we love. They wouldn’t change a thing about you. They want to do all the things you
want to do and watch all the things you want to watch. And at the end of each day you’ll skip off into the sunset in a field of white lilies hand and hand. Now I know it
sounds crazy, but it’s completely possible right?… WRONG, it’s crazy.
We all know that with all good things come some bad. So he may want to watch sports and you want to watch America’s got talent. You want to go for a walk by…

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Arrest Warrant Issued for Patriots Star

Oh dear, another bad boy. More to follow…

Game Time Nation (206)

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The warrant is in connection with the murder investigation of Odin Lloyd, whose body was found near the New England Patriots star’s Massachusetts home.

Reports of arrest warrants are dominating the news Friday as the homicide investigation involving New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez continues.

FOX 25 TV and WBZ NewsRadio 1030 in Boston reported early Friday that a warrant was issued for obstruction of justice in connection with the homicide of 27-year-old Odin Lloyd, who was found dead in an industrial park less than a mile from Hernandez’s North Attleborough, Mass., home Monday.

However, Bostonglobe.com reports an official as saying no arrest warrant has been issued.

• ABC reports that video surveillance from Hernandez’s neighborhood has been found that shows Hernandez with Odin Lloyd and two others only hours before Lloyd’s body was found.

• Thomas Moore, the manager of Rumor nightclub in Boston, told the Boston…

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Top 5 NFL Hairstyles

P1040296So this is how it all pulled together, I can’t believe it was four weeks ago now. I’m still practising with my hair, found another couple that look easy. Anyway, this is the premise for a quick look at the weird and wonderful hairstyles of the National Football League.

NFL Hair

 5. Long Hair. About a year ago it started to get quite popular to follow the likes of Argentina with long hairstyles. The first thing I will say is just imagine the sweat. The dreads maybe not so much, but that Green Bay Packer there, it looks matted already. However, as most of an American Football match consists of standing around rather than running, maybe it’s not too bad but I’m sure that helmet doesn’t help.

named one of the Hottest Football Players of the NFL by cosmo... go RED! #ginger Definitely NOT a Bengals fan, but do enjoy watching him play!

4. Ginger. I think in the US it’s not such a curse to have ginger hair. So I just had to point out this guy, Andy Dalton, Cosmo says hot, I would say not.

3. Rainbow. You get massive hats, vuvuzelas, and curly wigs in all sorts of colours at the European football, mainly in the UK, and maybe the not-so-.great footballing nations like Switzerland. Ok, so I have in the past been known to dye my own hair, pink, purple, white blonde – for music festivals – in Germany. I’ve also been known to paint a Mexican flag on my face to support them at the Olympics last year :

olym But this Sea Hawks fan I guess doesn’t have a day-job, or a wife, or a mirror…

seahawks-fan_2_

2. The Rookie Mistake.  Oh Tim Tebow, this is brilliant / horrendous. Firstly, I hate any form of hazing, no matter how light-hearted or traditional or whatever. I hear it’s used for fraternity houses in the US, and Oxford University have had some bad press about it in the last few years too. So apparently in the NFL, players are kidnapped for where ever they feel safe, and taken to somewhere and had things done to them. This is the Bronco’s excellent example :

1. Antonio Garay. San Diego Chargers, enough said :