A Fat Girl’s Love/Hate of Exercise

I went running this week for the first time in ages. I did four times around the block, which is not much in total – only 1.6miles, 2.5km. I’m not sure how long I took, and I felt great afterwards – but bloody hell it nearly killed me! There are three blocks of flats on our development, all in a nice line so every walkway between was like a marker to start or stop running and walking. Like an idiot I started off so confident and fast pretty much like Mark on Peep Show, exactly the following happened, thanks to David Mitchell in Peep Show :

“Hey! Wow, I’m actually good at this. Maybe I’m a natural – yeah, I’m a jogger! Of course, there had to be a sport for me, I just never realised. Legs like two great steam locomotives, pumping away! I’m Cram, I’m Ovett, I’m unstoppable – JESUS, is that a stitch? Fuck, I’m gonna be sick, I need to walk. Oh, I think I’m gonna puke, I’m literally going to die, ugh, what an idiotic boob I was back ten or eleven seconds ago.”

Not great, but I used to run at the gym

Not great, but I used to run at the gym

It never used to be like this, I used to play sports, I used to walk, and go to the gym. I’m still paying for the stupid bloody gym, but get this – membership has gone up £3.00 a month since I joined, so if I freeze it and then decide I do want it again, I’d have to pay the increased price. So instead I’m paying for a gym I rarely use. Maybe I should look into the classes again, I used to go to an abs class at 06h20 on a Wednesday morning which again, killed me but I liked getting the exercise out of the way before work in the morning.

There are millions of excuses for not exercising : Got out late from work, Cooking Dinner, Got to ring the bank, Haven’t rang my Mom for three days, Scared of all the muscle and slim people in the gym, Need to plan for Guides, Masterchef’s on… Another one of mine is really stupid, I’ve got to cross over Broad Street to get to the gym and if I’m standing there waiting to cross for more than just a minute or so my motivation just disappears. Well I went on the roads this week and really I felt really good about it. I wasn’t counting calories, or timing myself, I just ran until I was tired and walked to the next marker and ran again. Maybe that’s what it takes, putting something immediate in place so I don’t lose motivation.

All the cakes in the world, and the yummy biscuits from the Wahaca book are all very well but there’s got to be a balance. It’s a vicious cycle, I eat a cake then I feel crap and won’t go to the gym then because I feel crap I eat another cake and feel even crapper and won’t go to the gym and round and round until the end of time! But I’ve signed up for a 10K run that I need to practice for. When I do exercise I feel brilliant, all pumped up for eating properly and getting out there again!

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