So normally I would write a little about how great or terrible the Super Bowl was. However last night this was all I really got, Vernon Kay (dickhead), Man vs Food guy, ex-Blue Peter presenter. Channel 4 coverage began straight after Dragon’s Den on BBC2, and I was falling asleep during that last Dragaon’s Den pitch. I understand the Patriots won – despite them being bastards, I’d much rather them than Richard Sherman after he slaughtered the Bronco’s last year.
Well just when you thought the internet couldn’t get any weirder. Memes are a bit of a guilty pleasure, I can’t really be bothered with them but at the same time if I find a few on facebook and do a bit of clickey then no-one needs to know (except now, dammit!). Anyway, I found Buzzfeed a few months ago and haven’t really been concentrating until today. I found this :
So, here you will see my complete lack of knowledge of internet memes. Basically, some years ago when I had a lot more time on my hands at university – these things didn’t really exist, it was the early days of Bejewelled, Wikipedia, facebook hadn’t even really crossed the Atlantic.
Is it an American thing? Without getting into the background of why we do it, why we share it, why it’s funny, sad, cute, stupid or whatever – here are my Top Five NFL memes :
5. Tebowing – I’ve written about this before. So he has a little prayer before a play, on pitch, in the dressing room, wherever you can do it. He’s still doing it at the New York Jets too, and I’ll bet he’ll carry on now he’s signed for the Patriots. It created a wave of copy-cat photos all over the internet. I did a very quick search on google for tebowing, and to be honest everyone’s at it, babies, kids, students, office workers, naked ladies…
4. Kaepernicking – A bit more of a manly meme, so something brilliant, kiss your tat. Another quick search thankfully pulls up slightly better photos. Clearly less piss-taking on this meme, lots of kids giving it a go and it looks like you can buy tattoo sleeves to give you your own Kaepernick muscle – maybe that’s a bit far. Remember we went to the 49ers game at New Year, I just asked my Danielote if we saw Kaepernick, ie., whether we saw Kaepernicking, the reply : “I don’t know, we didn’t know what it was then!” This is how much of the football gossip reaches this side of the pond.
3. Lambeau Leap – So the Green Bay Packers do this little leap into the crowd to celebrate a touchdown. Lovely, getting the crowd involved, community spirit, appreciating their support – until you realise where this woman’s hand is!
2. Officials – Even these guys are in on the act. Piss-take central in every sport in every country. There’s a theme there. You never feel sorry for the Ref, and to be honest why would you in these outfits, the Summer Saturday boy at the local Footlocker that never left. Or of course, (Scottish accent) “Gladiatorrrr, Ready!”
1. Beyonce – We know that Beyonce was the half-time entertainment at the Super Bowl this year, but she actually danced like a drunk girl I once saw in Leicester that had a neon straw attached to her ear pretending to the Kylie. Result : the artist requests / orders that six photos be removed from the internet for being down-right unflattering – not before the cheeky internetters have got their hands on them!
Ok, so all I’ve read on this today is ESPN, but look at this ::
They got him! Thought it’s still not clear what for, murder? Watching a murder? Hiding evidence from the Police? He apparently did destroy some evidence, CCTV from his home and other bits and bobs.
And they got rid of him! It was announced on Twitter that the Patriots let Hernandez go. Good job really…
I did read a disturbing statistic though : “Hernandez is one of 28 NFL players arrested since this year’s Super Bowl on Feb. 3, according to a database kept by U-T San Diego.” What on earth is that about? It’s not as though there are lower divisions where nobody knows or cares if the defender of Kidderminster Harriers is arrested for punching someone in a club. How can 28 players get arrested in just 5 months?!
I told you I’d come back for more! So over the last few days an exciting story has come to light in the American Conference. New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez is arrested in connection to the murder of Odin Lloyd in North Attleborough, Massachusetts. Remember that Massachusetts is home to Little Women, think Kirsten Dunst, Claire Danes, Winona Ryder, no bad things should happen here!
So details are still a little shady, but his home was searched last Tuesday, and Police spent a lo-ong time talking to him at the house. Now he’s only 23, so at the moment let’s assume his innocence – neighbours were also quite concerned according to this abc article, as a lot of players live in the town.
So apparently Hernandez was involved in a Florida shooting a few years ago, let’s keep assuming innocence (though I’m not sure why now because he’s not even hot, look at that fringe cut and tattoos, yuck!). I think in the US those tattoos would come under the label “douche”, here it’s plain old “cock”. He also, according to Sports Illustrated, publically took drugs, and gang activity are making his pretty much a persona non grata at the Patriots Stadium and in the NFL in general.
Let’s get back to the events – in the end the authorities are still searching his home, and they want to arrest him but nobody’s seen him. Maybe he’s in Ecuador, that’s where everyone on the run seems to go these days…
Oh dear, another bad boy. More to follow…
The warrant is in connection with the murder investigation of Odin Lloyd, whose body was found near the New England Patriots star’s Massachusetts home.
Reports of arrest warrants are dominating the news Friday as the homicide investigation involving New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez continues.
FOX 25 TV and WBZ NewsRadio 1030 in Boston reported early Friday that a warrant was issued for obstruction of justice in connection with the homicide of 27-year-old Odin Lloyd, who was found dead in an industrial park less than a mile from Hernandez’s North Attleborough, Mass., home Monday.
However, Bostonglobe.com reports an official as saying no arrest warrant has been issued.
• ABC reports that video surveillance from Hernandez’s neighborhood has been found that shows Hernandez with Odin Lloyd and two others only hours before Lloyd’s body was found.
• Thomas Moore, the manager of Rumor nightclub in Boston, told the Boston…
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Ok, so, I didn’t go to sleep at half-time, I stayed up until 02h30, I was just worried about being rubbish at work the next day.
So here is Beyoncé, touting her trade. Not really, she was good, I enjoyed the show and looks like the fans did too. She was a bit dirty though, high heels and a dominatrix style costume with an ounce of lace at the back – I guess to add a touch of old-fashioned femininity. I liked the outfit.
I did not like the moves. Given that it’s a family viewing prime-time slot, I think she could have toned it down a bit. But maybe she’d lose her style, maybe it was a compromise. She did a set where she danced with herself in computer graphics which was quite impressive, and of course, All The Single Ladies!
Then Kelly Rowland came out, we like Kelly Rowland, we liked her on X-Factor, she was like the voice of reason in the middle of Tulisa. Reuniting Destiny’s Child might not be purely Beyoncé’s doing, but I think it was a good call in what was essentially a bit of a dirty set, which in the stands you probably couldn’t see too closely.
As they said on Sky, they’ve played safe since the Janet Jackson incident, going for classic all-American acts, so this was probably a bit of a risk. As my first proper Super Bowl, I thought there would be more acts, like Beyoncé being the headliner.
Anyway, then the lights went out! They just stood around for ages, about half an hour – well the players stretched and we toyed with the idea of going to bed. The Ravens were getting proper annoyed, with good reason, because the 49ers came back and smashed it. They didn’t win, but it was damn close. They made an amazing comeback, with more touchdowns to lose 34-31. So close!
So, the Ravens, the joke-team in my opinion – won, again! And Ray Lewis, as much as I don’t like him for off-field behaviour, he looks well happy here! The Ravens are still bastards though. I think we nearly hate them more than the Patriots.
So today’s Daily Prompt is Guilty Pleasures. I don’t know what’s been wrong with some of my ex-boyfriends, none have really been that into Football, but growing up with a little brother and a Daddy, I was quite into it when I was younger. That’s my guilty pleasure, I shouldn’t like football but I do. Look at how much I’m enjoying Mexico vs Gabon at Coventry for the Olympics ::
Flag, shirts, beer, even a gold medal at the end of it all (watched the final on the telly but still brilliant!). So, we know how to do it in the UK, have your girlfriends round, watch X-Factor and drink wine until you fall off the chair.
What about in the US :
- Assimilate the the game – We’ll never quite understand the offside rule in football, and really there’s so much of the American we’ll never understand, when the quarterback falls down to score a point or a penalty or something, the point of cheerleaders, no idea.
- Learn the who’s who – we all grew up with Giggsy, Beckham, and Ooh Aah Cantona, but I have no idea who the hotties or the meanies are. All that matters in my house is Peyton Manning is great, every single Patriots player is a crock of shite. Booooooooooo the Patriots!
- Cook – look at the movies, what do the women do when the game’s on? Cook for their men! Pizza, cakes, casserole… Maybe not casserole, but even if it’s just arranging your spicy beef Monster Munch in a bowl.
- Learn the lingo – “¡Toma chango!” and “Ah, you bastards!” is the cry of our household. I believe you could also ask 6000 questions as per my previous post, however I don’t advise this if you’re not keen on having that second cry directed at you.
- Get cheerleading – another throwback to the movies, the Jock and the Cheerleader, not sure whether that still works once you go pro, but you could get your pom poms out and get pretending, who knows what might happen!
- Because the games are on so late here, my final piece of advice, grab yourself a hot chocolate, the latest 50 Shades*, and go to bed
* I need to point out I haven’t read this book. I tend not to see things, read things according to the hype.
Bonus tip number 7 – though I might regret putting up this photo from The Telegraph :