So normally I would write a little about how great or terrible the Super Bowl was. However last night this was all I really got, Vernon Kay (dickhead), Man vs Food guy, ex-Blue Peter presenter. Channel 4 coverage began straight after Dragon’s Den on BBC2, and I was falling asleep during that last Dragaon’s Den pitch. I understand the Patriots won – despite them being bastards, I’d much rather them than Richard Sherman after he slaughtered the Bronco’s last year.
02 February 2014
Dear God, You and I have our issues, I know that in most other circumstances I would swear point-blank that you don’t exist. You’ve dealt me some pretty rough cards in life, but here I am talking to you again. It’s nothing life-threatening, nothing to do with health or finance or anything serious like that. It’s sport.
Please, please, give Peyton Manning and the Broncos the biggest come-back in Super Bowl history. Please, when I wake up, please let the Broncos have won. Thank you, Katherine
Less than 15 seconds in and the Broncos mess it up. Some dickhead threw the ball before they were ready and the Seahawks get the Safety*. And it set the tone for the whole game. The final score I found out this morning was 43-8, we got some points at least. The Seahawks are dirty though, they are young and bold and confident. But the amount of punching and shouting and… they’re just nasty.
* Something to do with the defence catching the ball in the endzone.
So this is how it all pulled together, I can’t believe it was four weeks ago now. I’m still practising with my hair, found another couple that look easy. Anyway, this is the premise for a quick look at the weird and wonderful hairstyles of the National Football League.
5. Long Hair. About a year ago it started to get quite popular to follow the likes of Argentina with long hairstyles. The first thing I will say is just imagine the sweat. The dreads maybe not so much, but that Green Bay Packer there, it looks matted already. However, as most of an American Football match consists of standing around rather than running, maybe it’s not too bad but I’m sure that helmet doesn’t help.
4. Ginger. I think in the US it’s not such a curse to have ginger hair. So I just had to point out this guy, Andy Dalton, Cosmo says hot, I would say not.
3. Rainbow. You get massive hats, vuvuzelas, and curly wigs in all sorts of colours at the European football, mainly in the UK, and maybe the not-so-.great footballing nations like Switzerland. Ok, so I have in the past been known to dye my own hair, pink, purple, white blonde – for music festivals – in Germany. I’ve also been known to paint a Mexican flag on my face to support them at the Olympics last year :
But this Sea Hawks fan I guess doesn’t have a day-job, or a wife, or a mirror…
2. The Rookie Mistake. Oh Tim Tebow, this is brilliant / horrendous. Firstly, I hate any form of hazing, no matter how light-hearted or traditional or whatever. I hear it’s used for fraternity houses in the US, and Oxford University have had some bad press about it in the last few years too. So apparently in the NFL, players are kidnapped for where ever they feel safe, and taken to somewhere and had things done to them. This is the Bronco’s excellent example :
1. Antonio Garay. San Diego Chargers, enough said :
So today’s Daily Prompt is about breaking the rules. I’ve done a lot of minor things, forgot to pay for things in shops, ran a red light, marijuana yoghurt. I think the most, was when I was 15, I once climbed a gate and trespassed on a Spanish football pitch for a bit of a party. The security guard came and we all ran as fast as we could back to the gate, it felt exhilarating!
Here is my Top 5 NFL rule breakers off the pitch ::
5. Name : Ryan Leaf Current Team: In Prison (Retired from Seattle Seahawks) Crimes : Drug abuse, burglary
Imprisoned in 2012 for burglary, theft, and possession of dangerous drugs. Stealing prescription painkillers, cancer whether benign or malignant does thing to you. Still – not cool Mr Ryan Leaf.
4. Name : Plaxico Burress Current Team: Pitsburgh Steelers Crimes : Unlawful carrying of a handgun, dangerous driving, writing off a lease-car
Old Plaxico wins on variety of crimes, injuring a woman by dangerous driving, he was also leased a car in return for a publicity contract for a garage, but basically wrote off the car and didn’t bother to turn for up any publicity events. The most serious though is this handgun business, it was just tucked into his jeans, started sliding down his leg and as he tried to save it, accidentally pulled the trigger and shot himself. The hospital didn’t alert the police as per normal practice for this, and they found out his gun license had expired three days previously to the incident, so, off to prison he went…
3. Name : Michael Vick Current Team: Philadelphia Eagles Crimes : Supply of banned substances, marijuana use, dog fighting (28.08.2013 WordPress can no longer find my photo)
There appears to be a ring in the NFL. Seventy dogs were seized in 2007 at Vick’s home in Virginia. High-stakes gambling, end cruel execution of dogs were reported to have been carried out in the name of sport – needless to say he was sent to prison.
2. Name : Ray Lewis Current Team: Baltimore Ravens Crimes : Murder
Back in 2000, Lewis and some friends started a fight at a party in which two people were stabbed and killed. The suit he was wearing that night was never found, which all points to guilty – but then he basically sold his friends out saying they did it, in exchange for murder charges being dropped against him. Dirty bastard.
1. Name : Rae Carruth Current Team: In Prison (Carolina Panthers) Crimes : Murder, murder, murder
This guy is the worst, in my opinion. In 1999 he hired a hit man to kill his girlfriend and their unborn child. Cherica Adams was shot four times from a parked car by a hitman. She survived and told the police everything, then fell into a coma, and the baby is born by caesarian, with cerebal palsy. Carruth then pays a 3M USD bail out, on the condition of Cherica or the baby dying. So a month later she dies – at this point Carruth, this low life shit of shits, goes on the run! Found in the boot of a car outside some motel, apparently hiding in his car for days. He was charged but spared the death penalty, because he didn’t deal the fated blow himself. All because, apparently, she she refused to abort his baby.
Ok I did a bit of research on this, mainly Wikipedia, and this blog here : Bleacher Report. And oh my god there are so many bad boys in the NFL! Also worthy of note are :
- Travis Henry – Drug trafficking. Katherine: What about – Travis Henry? Daniel: He used to play for the Broncos Katherincita. That is different. What did he do I can’t remember? – Cocaine, actually, Daniel, cocaine…
- Bill Romanowski – Head-butting, punching. Not only off pitch too, he ripped off the Raiders’ Marcus Williams’ helmet in 2003, and punched him so hard it crushed his eye. They were on the same team! Roid Rage or not, this guy is a first class knob.
- Shawne Merriman – Domestic Violence. In 2009 he was charged for choking and imprisoning his former girlfriend at his own home.
- Albert Haynesworth – Fighting. Another one to throw his fists around too easily.
- Donté Stallworth – Manslaughter. Apparently drunk driving, speeding, flashed his lights to warn him (which in this country means, go and thank you), and ploughed into him anyway. He killed a construction worker on his way home. Oh dear Donté Stallworth.